"No one but the complete fanatic completely associates herself with only one role—instead, the self is formed in the distance one takes from the roles one is assigned. In such an analysis, activities which aren’t ‘on task’ become as important as activities which are, for besides the task itself there is also always the formation of identity” (Brooke 723-4).
Brooke's discussion of identity was written primarily to help us understand the purpose of “underlife” behavior in writing classes. However, it got me thinking about identity more generally, especially in relation to growing up and becoming a professional academic. I started to think about the line between “fun” and “responsibility” and how blurry it really is. The tasks we perform as part of our obligations to our jobs, our family, or our school are always perceived as being in a different category from the tasks we perform just because we want to—even if they are the same tasks. For instance, I used to love Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre. As an undergraduate, I took a class on 19th century marriage plot novels and formally studied the text for an entire semester. I’m sad to say that I haven’t picked it up since then. Whatever I loved about it had been squashed by its cooptation by the academic institution. Another example: I used to love to play house. I used to revel in planning how I would organize all the cool appliances I would own and what fantastical shapes I would trim the hedges in. Now I actually have a house (with hedges), and keeping up with it is probably one of my least favorite activities.
As Brooke points out, the reasons behind this have to do with our sense of identity. Each “role” we take on as part of our life-responsibilities is useful for its purposes, but also limiting. One of my professors this semester, Dr. Hawkins, recently remarked that one major part of being a graduate student is learning to juggle responsibilities—to take off our “ENGL1301 Grader” hat and put on our “Textual History Researcher” hat, and then take that off an hour later and don our “Homemaker” hat. All these hats we have to wear can cause us to lose perspective. We need a space from which to negotiate the way these roles shape our lives. This is the space in which we do “fun” things—things no one tells or expects us to do, but that we do nonetheless. That's the stuff that liberates us from our limiting roles as graders, researchers, and homemakers.
Having an underlife isn’t only important to becoming a good writer. It’s also important to being a sane, successful person—especially in the world of professional academia.
I am with you on the keeping house business. Although, keeping house begins to look a lot more appealing when something like grading comes around. I fixed my vacuum cleaner today, and successfully avoided grading for two hours. But you are right about wearing different hats. I think almost everyone likes to laugh and joke more than we normally get to in a classroom. That's why people are willing to laugh at seemingly minor things in class; it's just dying to get out. And I think that is why activities that bring some of that other side of people into the classroom can really make for some valuable learning experiences.
ReplyDeleteOptions. It's all about options. For example, I'm from N. CA and it is a dream of mine to go back there and live in San Francisco someday. But I don't have to actually do this. I just need to know that I can if I want to. If I end up spending the rest of my life in Lubbock, that's okay as long as it is my choice and not because I feel that I have to. It's the have tos that make us crazy. Our underlife lets us feel, even for just a short time, that we have options. Then we remember that we are in grad school because we want to be, not because we have to be, and our perspective shifts a bit and we make peace with the demands of grad school once again. Our students will go through the same process, except some of them will be in college because they have to be. Less options. Remembering this will help us to keep their attitudes and behaviors in perspective I think.
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you put this, Hannah. I think having the option to do something and put effort into it (or not), is a wonderful escape from the weightiness of graduate school. We are all multi-dimensional, and we should remember that our students are, too. We need to have other ways to connect with them, teach them, and help them become more successful students. We only interact with one dimension of their lives, but hopefully we can do it in a positive way.
ReplyDeleteInteresting points about underlife, and how to embrace them in your teaching for positive gain. I don't necessarily agree that being a grader or composition instruction is wearing a hat. That is, it's a very important role in the university, and for many people, far more important than studying "professionally written" texts. A strong approach is taking teaching-research-service as something that can be integrated and can feed into one another.
ReplyDelete--Dr. Rice